As a teenager, I was hopeless, forlorn, and despondent beyond repair.

I was a tiny bit social my freshman year of high school, but mostly just retreated into books and bologna sandwiches in the school library as hives of classmates buzzed in hives in the cafeteria.

Soon after I got my driver’s license, I headed out to a theater in the Chicago suburbs. Before the show, I paced outside the theater entrance, puffing cigarettes while reading a creased paperback of Kurt Vonnegut’s early science fiction. I must have looked miserable as hell…